I notice the similarity in our hands most often when I am working. I think this speaks volumes about what I saw my mother doing all my life. She will now claim this was ADHD or ADD, whichever one won't let you sit still for any amount of time. She may be partially correct, but for the most part, she was a natural worker.
She cooked, cleaned, had five (count 'em) five children. There was never a day that I do not remember her at the sewing machine, stove, sink or lawnmower. My dad worked shift work, she had no choice but to take up all the slack. Her mother did it before her, and her mother before her.
Her mother had four girls, my mother had four girls, I have two. I already know there is no hope for my two girls, they already show the signs of the matriartichal line we come from. God bless them! In a side note, my mom also had a boy, the baby. I have two sons, who I couldn't be more proud of. This, however, is a chick story.
I channel all of them constantly without even thinking about it any more. It is ingrained in my being via familial ties. There is a way I look over my glasses that is also my mother, a small noise "hmmp" when I am pondering a recent statement by someone I am pretty sure is full of it and the saying "hells bells" that is my grandmother.
My mother had a very aggravating habit when we were younger. We, somehow wounded by another, would come to her and spill it all. Mom would then tell us why this person acted this way, why we should be patient with the offender! She was teaching us multiple lessons, patience, tolerance, character...even though
we hated it at the time. It is now one of her past habits I rely on the most, especially at work. Whatever is happening in front of me is fueled by something I cannot see...until I know what it is, I cannot understand why the employee is acting badly. Works every time.
I suppose the bulldog, stubborn streak I steadfastedly deny is part of the line of German women I descend from. Do not tell me I can't do it, I will prove you wrong every time. My girls both have this trait.
I also see similar traits in my sisters. In a recent sister session, we were hooting and hollering about a photo of my youngest sister. She was in the background, unaware of being photographed, making a face our grandmother had often. The disapproval face...there it was, on my sweet little sister. Sometimes when I turn to look at my sister next to me in the sibling line, I see mom. My third sister has the intonations in her voice.
I work with a cousin, a male cousin, who has commented more than once, "I know that face, she isn't budging now" to our co-workers. He says he sees it all the time on his own mothers face, my mothers sister.
I am finding that we never stop learning from our mother. She is teaching us how to handle loss. Quiet, reserved, dignified, no whining, no "why me?" My father left us over a year ago and I know how I feel about it, I cannot even comprehend the magnification of pain my mother must feel. Yet, she keeps this to herself and rarely shows it. She continues working.
I am happy to be like my mother. I hope to have her strong points as well as some of her more crazy aspects, I love them all. And, of course, her hands.
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