I live a totally different life than the one you observe when we are together. I know myself well enough never to use the descriptor "normal"...whatever the hell that is, when describing myself. Crazy is often used though I prefer creative which sounds a little nicer.
After reading this you might side with crazy but that will only force me into categorizing you (as I always must) into someone who isn't as cool as me. It is how I get through the day in and day out workaday world we live in.
I like to find the funny or fantastic in the things I see. Sparkly things attract me. The sky is never just one color. The estuary behind me transforms into a Scottish moor and back again at my imaginations command.
Driving on the country roads to and from the stores in my district always yield interesting things to ponder. The tractor in the field becomes a purple elephant with bright green spots. On those days I tend to look at everything like Dr. Seuss or Van Gogh, everything is an unusual shape or swirling colors.
If we are talking together you might transform into a fairy, a witch, a toad or who knows what depending on what we are talking about. Often when confronted with a very angry customer situation they sprout wings, turn green, and snort fire. I told you earlier in this post all this might land me in loony territory in your estimation...you were warned.
On a recent trip I found myself on a single lane road behind a trailer full of pigs. Of course, things being what they are in my head, instead of passing the trailer my mind started drifting. Did this qualify as pigs flying? They weren't on the ground after all. They were moving at a fast rate like flying. Lost in my revelry I almost didn't notice the porker who poked his hind end perfectly in between the bars and, uh, well, ummm....let loose.
Quite suddenly part of the pig was flying and heading right for my windshield. Splaaat! Flying pig poop on the windshield. My car usually decorated in white splats by Pelicans, Herons and Seagulls found itself (and me behind the glass ) sporting a new polka dot color scheme.
I was so astonished I had to stop and take in the brevity of the astounding situation before me. I had absolute proof pigs do fly or at the very least parts of them do. They do, they really do...and once they come in contact with your windshield, they are VERY hard to remove.
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