I HATE HER!

                     


I hate this chick.  She could be Mother "effen" Theresa and I would still hate her.  Why?  Do I really have to answer that question?

I do not look like this woman. I have never looked like this woman. I will never look like this woman. (Just in case Salty tunes in to read this blog post, I wanna make darn sure he understands this) This takes real work to look this good.  Abs like this do not have Little Debbie in their backpack, nor do they ride around in a little car visiting liquor stores eight hours a day.

Why exactly I hate this poor young undernourished, over exercised thing is still unclear to me.  I truly do admire the way she looks.  I envy that she can go into any store anywhere and fit into anything she wants.
I can only imagine that the face is equally as pretty as the body.  Still, I hate her.

More than likely I hate the fact that circumstances over the past three years have been the reason for my weight gain.  I am officially a lard ass.  I was doing well, training for a 13.1 mile walk, which I accomplished.
My weight was 165 and I was OK with that because a lot of it was leg muscles.  I was walking about 10 miles a day...my legs were tight!

I have to rewrite the first sentence of the last paragraph: My inability to handle the circumstances of the last three years has been the reason for my weight gain.  Instead of dealing head on, I ate my way around it.  I really hate that about myself.  So now I must fix it.  Focus, Catherine, focus.

I know I have to take my lost loved ones out of my head but keep them in my heart.  It sounds so easy but in actuality is so very hard.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them both, the very thought alone seems to steer the car to the nearest Luby's.

My careful avoidance of any show of emotion is probably slowly burying me under this layer of fat.  Neither one of them would have wanted to be the reason for this.  So instead of  "focus, Catherine, focus,"  maybe it should be "feel it, Catherine, feel it," no matter how painful that process might be.  Wish me luck.

I still hate the chick in the picture.